No One Wakes Up a Butterfly

“Life was teaching me that progress and change happen slowly. We were planting the seeds of change, the fruit of which we might never see. We had to be patient.” - Becoming, Michelle Obama

Patience is often a term that is looked past. The world itself brings scowls to people’s faces and pain in others eyes. It is looked upon as a roadblock, trapping you inside itself. This is exactly how I saw the word patience. I often questioned, “Why must I wait? Why am I being prevented from accomplishing my aspirations? When will life pull me forward, rather than push me further away?” Humans expect results and answers right away. The theory behind this thought is that if we continue to wait throughout life, no success will ever come to us. Patience may obtain the presence of a villain - but it is possible that this villain has innocence embedded inside.

Even at a young age, I found myself struggling with the idea of patience. Adults would tell me: “wait until you are older” or “you will understand eventually.” These words rang in my ears every time they came out of someone’s mouth. It almost felt as though they were taunting me, pulling at my hair. I felt like I was never going to be worthy of reaching the next level. Feelings of doubt would often take over me, crashing like waves of an untamable sea. Waiting for dreams felt like eternity, and it almost felt like patience had trapped me in a box, unwilling to pull out the key. I wanted to fly. I wanted to soar. An escape was exactly what I constantly found myself looking for, an escape from this world that I was drowning in.

What made matters worse was that it felt like I was never good enough. Like the world was punishing me for all I was executing. This race to the finish line seemed miles long, and this word patience was stacked up like rocks in my backpack of life. For example, math was something I always struggled with and it made me so frustrated that my blood would boil, and my eyes would brim with tears when a question ridiculed my knowledge. Progress reports would come home in large yellow envelopes sealed in sticky glue, and I dreaded having to open up those papers with trembling hands and feel unworthy of anything at all.

What I failed to realize was that patience is a process.

I wanted to reach that finish line. I wanted to accomplish all that was in my mind. What I needed to realize was that if I accepted patience for what it was rather than neglecting it for the turmoil it was putting me through, the reward in the end would be sweet like sugar. Even today, patience traps me in time, and I question why moving forward is not something of my ability. However, the realization has come to me that patience is often there to guide you and pull you into success, rather than drown you in dismay. Most often, our goals are what drive us to take action and create change in magnificent measures. We must use this drive, and this passion to remind ourselves that growth is a flower. A flower needs sun, rain, and soil to sprout and begin its journey in this whirlwind of life. This is quite similar to the human race - we need to accept time, energy, and patience as virtues, and terminate the disapproval most feel when patience is placed before their eyes.

To this day, I still obtain frustration when I must resort to staying patient, and waiting for life to place me on the tracks towards my future. Writing and journalism are my passion, and are subjects I would love to pursue in the near future. But this is absolutely all I know - nothing more, nothing less. There is nothing specific that I know will fit my personality, or my style. It can be bitter when all those surrounding you have a detailed plan, engraved in their minds about exactly what they want. Something I have realized, however, is that I know that patience has a plan for me. Patience will hold my hand and pull me forward, slowly, gently, and ever so meaningfully. She will whisper in my ear, “You will reach the top of the mountain. You will be surrounded with affirmations of pride and satisfaction.” I truly believe that this growth is a process worth the anticipation. No one wakes up a butterfly. Give yourself time. Enjoy the slow, steady path that life takes you on. This steady path of growth is a time in which all that one has learned and accepted turns one into someone they have always wanted to be - the best version of themselves.